Rose Colored Reunion

I spent this past weekend traveling to my home state to attend my 20 year high school reunion. I really had no intention of going, but a couple of close friends convinced me to take the risk and go. So, I bought a ticket, and three months later I was walking through the door to the past.

My memories of my 10 year reunion gave me an unrealistic expectation of what ten more years would bring. I walked into a room of strange faces, and I slowly began to recognize the people with whom I spent four years of my life. These faces were the adult versions of the kids that seem immortalized in the senior yearbook. Yet, even with the gray hairs, the extra wrinkles and pounds, many of my peers still acted the same. They associated with the same friends, the same cliques, and portrayed the same social behavior… with one exception: they are well past the minimal age limit.

I am glad to say that I enjoyed my experience of revisiting a small epoch of time. I have realized that I am much happier with my current life circumstances. I am happy that I survived the awkward teenage years and moved forward with the dreams and ideals I sought to acquire. I am glad that I am no longer single, and I have an identity that is getting stronger each day.

I connected with the few friends that helped me get through those turbulent years. I even made a small effort to shake some hands of strangers who did not know me, yet they were my classmates. As I walked away that night and drove home the next day I felt a strange sense of sadness. My heart cried for the people that I never did get to know, yet my heart was glad for the comfort of friends who greeted me. I don’t know how many people there will be who will not attend the 25 or 30 year reunion. Every day that goes by seems to come faster, and no one knows what the unexpected future will bring.

I hope that my life will count for something in the lives of those who do know me, and for those who met me for the first time in 20 years. I want to make each day count for something good. I wish that every teenager today could have that same kind of passion for influencing others in a positive way. Every kid has the opportunity to make a difference in the life of another person. I wish I had been encouraged to reach out 20 years ago, but now I know better. Life is short, and time gets shorter as life passes by.

One thing I do know is this: take the time to reconnect with the people who made an impact on your life. Go visit them, give them a call, or write a letter. Just reconnect, no matter what.


I am Revolutionary

“I am Revolutionary” is a harsh term. But only a few, brave men and women dare to use it.

I can relate to the term revolutionary in so many ways. My political viewpoints are revolutionary, my Christian faith is revolutionary, my lifestyle is revolutionary, my choice in home education is revolutionary, even my desire to become self-sufficient (live off the land) is revolutionary.

What does revolutionary mean? According to the Scholastic Children’s Dictionary the term revolution means, (2) a very large, important change. The Webster’s Random House College Dictionary says (2) a sudden, complete, or radical change in something.

I have always been marching to my own beat. I am stubborn, independent, obsessive-compulsive, left-brain dominant, and always questioning authority. I used to be too shy to exhibit these qualities, but they have always been there, rooted deep in my soul. The desire to bring my true characteristics up to the surface has been stirring for a while. I can no longer hide who I am.

So, why should I bring this subject into the light? I believe it is important! Another quote that I have grown to love is “You better stand for something, or you’ll fall for anything.” This is so true! We all have our core values, our worldviews, our opinions on how our world should operate. But, when it comes down to the nitty-gritty, would we die for our beliefs or our core values?

My answer is an absolute YES! If I am living for what I love, then I would absolutely die for what I love, too! Life on earth is so very short. We only get to spend a few precious years making a difference in the lives of others. We need to make every day count for something good.

Here are some examples of how I choose to live a revolutionary life:
*I am a full-fledged believer in Jesus Christ. Anyone can say they believe in God, but only a few dare say that they believe in God’s son, Jesus, and the message He proclaimed as truth.
*I am choosing to remain married to my husband, until death do we part. Divorce is not an option, no matter how bad our circumstances may be.
*I choose to raise and teach my children in the old-fashioned ways. Learn to earn your keep, use your manners, be mindful of others, dress modestly, fill your mind with quality literature and music.
*I desire to become self-sufficient. This means that I want to be debt-free, owing no man, but rather make the choices that require sweat to till the land to produce the food, shelter and clothing. Everybody used to live this way 100 years ago, and I believe that some very satisfied with a job well done.
*I want to make sure that I am a benefit to society, and not a burden. We need less government control, not more. If everyone started accepting their own responsibilities for their actions, rather than having the government bail them out, we would truly be a free nation. We are slaves to the master as long as we feel that we need their provisions.

I am sure I could go on and on, but I wanted to share what was on my heart today. I am revolutionary, and I am proud of it.

What about you?

Marriage and Family

Opposite Attraction

We go together like… peanut butter and jelly, peas and carrots, tea and honey, salt and pepper, black and white. Well, I could go on, but you get the picture.

I wanted to take a few moments and dedicate my blog to my wonderful husband. He has been my companion, my friend, my lover, and my supporter for the past 15 years. He has been in my life because he chooses to love me. He could have disappeared a long time ago, but he chooses to remain by my side. I have never felt so blessed.

I believe that there is “that one special someone” if you pray for it. I know I did… back in 1994 I had to say goodbye to my dad, who passed away from heart failure. I was devastated. I was daddy’s girl. I had dated a couple of men in the past five years, but not one of them was up-to-par in my dad’s eyes. His little girl deserved the best, and I hadn’t found the “best” just yet. It’s too bad my daddy didn’t get to meet the “best” man for me; he missed the opportunity by six short months. So, I prayed for my future husband. I told God that I wouldn’t look anymore for the man who would complete my life. Little did I know that I was about to meet him the next month.

But God has the best timing, and he knew that I needed to meet my future husband in September 1994. I needed to be pruned of any and all past events to be prepared for my future. I can’t say that my world turned upside when I met my future husband, but as I look back I see God’s hand in all that happened. Our life together has been more struggle than smooth sailing, but we have held tight and will continue to hold tight to each other. Here are some of the things we have in common:

We both like to sing and play the piano. We went to the same high school. We both had the same dentist. We have friends in common. We both love to read. We love to visit historical places. We love to teach our children at home. We love the computer. We love the ocean. We love our faith in God. We both had “old” parents to teach us old-fashioned values. We had parents who lived until “death do us part”. And, of course there’s always more…

As much as we have in common, here are some things that make us completely opposite of each other:

He is an extrovert; I am an introvert.
He is a night owl; I am an early riser (I turn into a pumpkin by 9pm).
He is extremely right brained and creative; I am so left-brained that I scare myself with my OCD.
He loves onions, I don’t love onions. I love tomatoes, and he detests tomatoes.
He is the spender, and I am the saver. But, I do have my moments 🙂
His love language is physical touch; my love language is acts of service.

I am sure there are more things that make us different, but I am so glad that we are not identical. I am glad that we are opposites. We attract each other like hydrogen and oxygen (which becomes water), and when we combine with a little “sodium” we make the world taste a little better. We balance each other in so many ways, and sometimes my OCD wants to balance him out a bit more than he would want. But, we have learned to laugh, cry, and laugh again when life seems out of balance. He is my life-raft, and he is there to catch me when I color out of the lines.

Yes, I am proud to be called Robert’s wife. I may not have the perfect marriage, but I have the best life that I can possibly have. I love my husband, and he loves me. I could even say that he is my soul-mate.

Marriage and Family

Forget Your Career and Find Your Calling

My husband and I were having a conversation last night, and this phrase came right out of my mouth, “you need to forget your career and find your calling.” He thought it was brilliant. Well, I never think of myself as brilliant, so I said “Thank You” and kept talking about our future. But, the phrase keep repeating itself in my head, so I just had to elaborate…

How many of us dream of that perfect career? When does that dream begin? I can remember dreaming about my future career as a nurse or teacher when I was in high school. I didn’t have enough faith in myself to pursue either option, so I ended up meandering through a myriad of choices (or lack of choices) when I was in college the first time. I was fortunate enough to take enough “general education” classes to complete an Associates degree in Liberal Studies. But, regardless of achieving that degree, I still had no clear-cut path for my dream career.

As time went by I still found myself dreaming of my two career choices. I decided to go back to college in 2002 and pursue the nursing degree. I made a success of my grades until I completed all the required prerequisites to get into the professional nursing program. I never crossed the threshold into completing that dream. I also pursued the idea of becoming a teacher. Once again I succeeded in all the necessary prerequisites to enter into a professional teacher preparation program. And, once again I never crossed that threshold.

As I continue to finish my bachelors degree through a distance learning program, I realize that I may never have my “dream” career. I realize now that my goal has been to complete a Bachelors degree, but I have lost sight of that potential career. What happened?

Life happened. I got married. I birthed four children in the last decade. I have been at home on a full-time basis, trying to give my children a sense of stability in a world that has by-gone memories of stay at home moms. I have battled my ideals within myself for a long time. My heart and my mind have been at the opposite ends of the boxing arena, trying to end the conflict within my soul. My heart longs to be at home, yet my mind is saying that I need to be in the workplace, and helping my husband with a secondary income.

So, as I return to the phrase I quoted above, I realize that I need to forget my dream career. I need to place that dream on hold for now so I can turn my attention to the ‘here’ and ‘now’. I know what I need to be doing, and it’s what I have been doing all along… my calling as a mother and wife. I know that sounds archaic, boring, backwards, and unworthy. But, that is what our society thinks about stay at home moms. It is not what I believe.

I am embracing the joy, the trials, the opportunities, the endeavors, the milestones and the miracles of staying at home. My calling is to shape a future generation through love, time, attention, training, disciplining, correction, encouragement, and consistency. I only have one chance to make a difference in the lives of my children; its a difference that will last a lifetime. I will make mistakes, and I will have days of doubt, fear, and feelings of being overwhelmed. But, I will also have days of laughter, making memories, light-bulb moments of learning, and sheer joy to be hugged, kissed, tickled, and appreciated.

My calling is NOW, my career may be NEVER.


Miracle Monday

I have always enjoyed Monday. For some reason I view it as a fresh start of the week. It’s a chance to get caught up on all the little things that were put on hold by the weekend. My mind is clear (usually) and refreshed (if I get a good night’s sleep).

This Monday is special to me. Why? Because I want to look at it differently than I have in the past. Today will only be happening once: August 3, 2009. But, it’s a Monday, and so it is special. I have a couple of friends celebrating their birthdays today. Happy Birthday to you: Shari and Sarah. You are two special people in my life, and you deserve the best.

Also, this Monday is special because I have asked for a miracle. My children, husband, and me have been praying for a miracle. Most of my friends know that we have not have any steady employment since April. We chose to take a different path for our provision. We chose to become self-employed. But, in this economy, the difference between a “need” and a “want” is big. People do not want to spend any extra money on something that they may not see as important as food, shelter, clothing, transportation.

Well, I can’t say that we have experience a miracle… yet. But, listen to what we have experienced today: (1) an email of encouragement, (2) an unexpected meeting of a potential business opportunity, and (3) a generous opportunity to have a date night without cost! Yes, the Lord does shine down from Heaven with his faithfulness. It’s evident to me and my family in these small things.

I could never let go of my faith. It’s too precious and too risky to live without it. The Creator of the Universe knows my needs, and I will never let go of that. He loves each of us too much. If we don’t love him back, then we are the ones who have denied ourselves the opportunity to be loved. We get caught up in the daily grind, thinking that our ‘world’ is too big for someone else to share or help. I’ve been guilty of this… I have to remind myself that I need to look up, literally, into the sky, into the heavens, and know that I am not alone. I am tiny and precious to almighty God, and He is going to take care of me.

So, today is a miracle for so many reasons. But, the greatest reason of all is because I am loved.