Marriage and Family

More human "being" and less human "doing"

I can clearly remember learning about the different conjugations of the verb “to be” in elementary school. I dreaded the thought of reciting the infamous lingo: “am, is, are, was, were, be, being, been.” I really didn’t think about it when I was a child, but those words have been etched in my brain since that time. It’s similar to a bad dream, but I can’t get rid of it because I use these words ALL the time! Okay, enough with the grammar lesson (that’s the teacher in me)…

So… I recently stumbled across the saying “to be a human ‘being’ instead of a human ‘doing'” in a book by Cheri Fuller. The context of the saying revolved around a woman who is raising five children and is struggling with the dilemma of getting everything done on her daily “to do” list and still find some time for herself. I can totally relate to these struggles, as I have preservered through them for many years. As a full time mother of four I cannot express my thoughts and feelings enough to share the joys and trials of the never-ending day. Twenty-four hours is never enough time for a busy mom. The only way to make more time for myself is to schedule into my life everyday on purpose!

So, what’s a busy mom to do? How do I fit in some “me” time into my already jammed-packed schedule that seems to never end? I think the answer may lie in the above saying: incorporate more human ‘being’ time and less human ‘doing’ time. But, how do you do that? You are probably thinking I am a bit crazy by now!

Well, if there’s anything I have learned in the past two years, the biggest lesson is to purposefully S-L-O-W D-O-W-N. There must be some leeway, some wiggle room. An OCD person like me will push myself until I get so drained that I become ill. Oh, wait a minute… I already had that happen to me! My body clearly reminds me that the immune system can only handle so much stress from foreign substances. Whether these substances are external (like germs) that invade, or whether they originate internally (from free radicals, hormones, etc…) they are likely to cause great havoc over time. Trust me when I say this… you do not want to get as ill as I did in 2008. My lesson has been taught, and I do not want to repeat it for mastery!

I’m still thinking about the infamous verb “to be”. Many references talk about it, but the one that sticks in my head is what the psalmist said, “Be still”… Think of a beautiful place that is serene, calm, peaceful. Perhaps it is a grassy area that leads to a lake or stream. The sun is peaking through the trees, and you can enjoy hours in this place just walking or resting by the water. The moment won’t last forever, but the imagery gives enough perception for the imagination to soar! I try to find those serene moments in the midst of my daily storm. The eye of my hurricane-filled life is my saving grace.

So, my encouragement to you is to “be” more, “do” less while remaining true to your form.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s