Category: Random

I just finished watching the movie, “Julie and Julia”, and I began to ponder some ideas. If you haven’t seen the move, please do… it is great. Both Meryl Streep and Amy Adams deserved an Oscar for their performances. But, the idea behind the plot intrigued me. What can I be doing to stretch myself in personal growth? Is there an option, like learning how to master the art of french cooking, for me?

I thought about pursuing a similar goal of learning how to cook better, just like Julie did.  But, I really don’t love to cook that much. Don’t get me wrong, I like to cook, but I do not love it. I would rather reorganize and decorate a room. Yet, still I want to be able to set a goal, and attain it. And, not just for personal growth, but to make an impact on others, just like Julia.

So, as I was driving to my former house to clean up the pool, I realized what I need to do. I don’t want to share my secret with you, not yet. You’ll have to wait and see. But, for those of you who know me personally, you will be involved in this project of mine. Right now I am calling it “Project 365” in honor of Julie’s one year goal to cook like Julia Child. But, my project is different, much different, and it does not involve one inkling of cooking.

My project is for my personal growth, but it is also my hope that you will grow from it, too. I will share my project with each one of you that responds to me. This is all I can share for now. Don’t ask for hints… just wait and see.

My mind is always thinking about something. That ‘something’ could be nothing important or it can be in need of immediate attention. The OCD in me wants to make everything an “A” on the priority list. There are no Bs or Cs. I know I need to spare myself the trouble of trying to accomplish everything at once. I am trying to figure out how to eat the elephant… one bite at a time.

But, I do want to mention that you, the reader, are always on my mind. I think about how you will feel when you read my thoughts. I think about the reaction you may experience when I say something that just doesn’t sit right with you. And I also think about the times that you may smile because I have encouraged you.

I’m not sure where I am going with this post. I just had a sense to post something new. But I wanted to let you know that, if you dare to be my friend, then you are on my mind when I write. A blog is like a hallmark card: I care enough to write to the very best! In the meantime, I will try to think of something profound for my next post.

What is the American Dream? Is it the opportunity to buy a house? Is it the opportunity have a 9 to 5, Monday through Friday job, weekends off, paid holidays, low-cost insurance, and two-weeks paid vacation? Is the opportunity to invest into a 401K, buy some savings bonds, buy a fancy car, and have all the modern appliances and technologically advanced products in the home? Is it owning a computer, and iPod, or the latest cell phone?

I am coming to grips with a reality that was once my American Dream. I grew up in a rental neighborhood, living on the “wrong side of the tracks”… literally. The train tracks that ran along Lincoln Avenue created a zip code barrier that would place my public education opportunity in the ghetto schools. Fortunately, I was able to transfer to a better district, but then I had to learn another lesson from the rich kids: how to keep up with the Jones’.

I swore to myself that I would not follow the path of my parents. I would not be greedy and spend on credit. I would save a portion of my income, and I would buy a house. I would live in a comfortable neighborhood, and I would have the American Dream. I have not lived up to all of my aspirations, though. At least, not yet.

To recount the first paragraph I have accomplished, bought, or owned all of the things I believed that would make me comfortable and happy. I was fortunate to buy a home in 1999 with my husband. I have been fortunate enough to be a stay-at-home-mom and raise my children (with the exception of the first two years of my firstborn). I have worked the Monday-through-Friday 9-to-5 job that offered paid vacations, sick days, holidays off, weekends off, low-cost health insurance, and a 401k plan. I even had the opportunity to buy two new cars (on credit, of course), and trade them in for something “bigger and better.”

So, where did all this affluence go? What has become of me? As I am sitting here, writing and pondering, I am not in sorrow. I smile at the future because of the hard lessons I am learning. I made some mistakes, I’ve made poor choices, and I’ve regretted a few decisions.

So here is where I am:
I can bake bread from scratch; I can sew my own clothes; I can make homemade laundry soap; I can read books instead of watch the electronic babysitter; I can teach my own children with a no-cost curriculum.

Things that I still need/want to learn:
To knit, to change the oil in my car, to cut my kids’ hair, to grow my own garden successfully, to raise chickens for meat and eggs, to learn to live without every modern invention in my possession.

Things I have learned to live without:
A microwave, a cell phone, a second car, cable television.

This may all seem weird, but all those things I have possessed or acquired have not made me any happier. The American Dream is a facade, a mirage of consumerism masked delightfully as happiness. I choose to take the narrow road. I now hope for a simpler life, one of which I can sit in my yard and count the stars. I can have a conversation with my children and not be interrupted by a telephone or a television. I dream of the chance to grow my own food, and be resourceful at every turn.

This is my life and my dream so far. What is your American Dream?

Okay, I know this will post on FB, too, but I have been battling with an inner struggle lately. I hate to admit it, since I love to be surrounded by positive things and positive people. I am about to have another birthday, and I don’t like the fact that I am entering my late 30s. I’ll be 37, and it is starting to feel like an extra 5 pound dumbbell on a piece of gym equipment.
I know that I will pull through this, but in the meantime, I am devouring every book of interest from the library. I have been reading some mystery novels, and other forms of non-fiction that pertain to homemaking or being a better mom (and wife, and spouse, and person…) The only problem with all this reading is that I have been out of sorts with all the input, and I don’t have an outlet…
I guess what I am really aching for is… a good friend, female only, please, because I have a dear husband. I know I have some really great friends out there, but for some reason, I haven’t had the opportunity to connect with anyone in my current town. I need someone I can talk to, and listen to, and they won’t ignore me, or feel weird around me. I would like to find someone to meet for coffee, or browse the local bookstore, meet at the park, or whatever.
Sounds crazy, right? Well, wherever you are and whoever you are, I am praying that we’ll meet… or perhaps, meet again. Someone who is married, has kids, has a strong faith in God, who shares the same interests. You know… like a friend from childhood who has been there for years and years.
Enough said, and my prayers will continue…

“Stop the World I want to get off” was a quote I read from a poster that hung in my English high school class. I’ll never forget those words, but for some reason I cannot remember the picture behind it. Ever since then I have said those words in my mind when my “world” seemed to collide with itself. Whether I was dealing with issues at home, issues at work, or issues at school, I knew I could only handle so much of the world.

What is life like for you in your world? Do you live life at full speed, never catching your breath, or do you try to find some balance and serenity in your unobstructed view of life? As for me, I have found that my life resembles a roller coaster ride. There are days when I feel like I am climbing up to the heavens and waiting for the thrill of being on top of the world. Other days I feel like I am racing to the bottom, hoping that I don’t crash or fall off my path. Yet, there are days when I sit in the seat at the starting gate, all strapped in my seat, waiting for life to start.

There are no repeats in this life. Everyday is a new chance to make something better in my life than the previous day. I have to choose to wake up happy, smile at my surroundings, and face my world square in its eyes. If I choose to do the opposite, well, let’s just say, “if momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” That’s another great quote I use from time to time, too.

As I look beyond my personal world, I see so many other things happening around me. My community is growing and changing each day; my state is growing and changing, too. And, yes, the country in which I live is changing at a rate faster than I’d like to accept. If we look at the Earth, the entire world that gives us life and abundant resources, it seems like an awfully big place. I cannot imagine trying to learn about all the countries, people, places, and history. My entire lifetime would be consumed with that quest of knowledge. If we look at the Earth from outer space, our planet is relatively small, just a tiny speck of dust that floats around in the universe. I suppose that the Dr. Seuss book, Horton Hears a Who, is not such a distorted, misrepresentation of people living on “specks.”

As I reflect on the different views of my world, from a personal standpoint and expanding out to the vastness of the universe, I see that my life and my world is a brief speck of dust, yet it is so important. I am learning that I only get a few chances to make a difference in my world. So, “What composes your world?” you may ask. Like I said earlier, my world is small, concise, and so important. I have my family and my home. I have my friends and my church. I have my faith in God. That’s about it. But, hey, those few items I choose to call mine, they are special to me, and they complete the picture in which I exist.

So, the next time I consider listening to that quote, “Stop the world I want to get off,” I hope I will reconsider and finish the ride.